Have you ever had a headache so bad that goes straight in your dreams, wake you up and have you suffer in reality?

I have! And it's no fun! The whole house was sleeping and I was writhing in agony as if my brain is desperately trying to expand and multiply. The pain was earth shattering! I got up after two hours of pain at 4 AM and bang my head on my parents' door because the medicine box is in their room. The reason I use my head is because it somewhat relieves the pain. I couldn't take it anymore!

To make the matters worse, it's still here! Today, at this very moment! Making me very miserable. I am not exaggerating! It really fucking bloody hurts!

Oh, and today at work, I met and heard of a few pricks that I seriously want to behead if they were not suppliers or customers. I'll talk more about the pricks later. I don't think my head can handle to rage.

Milo has severe astraphobia, fear of lightning and thunder! He goes  panicky and destructive when there's thunderstorm, and unfortunately, the worst storm I have seen these few years just occurred today. The effect? He tore the main door's curtains.

Usually, if I'm around, he would run to me for comfort like a little scared puppy and calm down when I put my arms around him. Tips for dog owners, towels and hugs work wonders for calming scared dogs.

However, he does brave through a storm if he sees me getting caught in one. Example being that one time when I was caught in a thunderstorm while walking back from the supermarket. Milo barked at me as if to say "GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE! THERE'S A STORM!!" and he didn't run for cover like he usually does.

However, he reverted to his panicky side when I got in and proceeded to jump on me for comfort and I attacked him with an old towel because he was wet and shivering.

I suppose despite loving creatures as much as I do, and recently got over my arachnophobia and entomophobia, I still have creatures that I fear. I'm afraid of jellyfishes. Okay, they're not animals per se, but I suppose they will do since they possess certain animal characteristics. I freeze up in fear when I see one in the water with me, especially if I'm equipped with nothing but a piece of swimwear for protection. That's like trying to move around an enchanted garden of microscopic thorns NAKED! Well, almost naked...

However, I should note that it's not a traumatic fear, more like a cautious one because I've never been stung by a jellyfish. Added with the annoying fact that they're quite invisible when they're in the water and they are usually loaded with trigger happy microscopic poisonous barbs that automatically embed themselves into you by a mere touch, I'm absolutely terrified of them. There's also a fragment of memory in my head that depicts a jellyfish swarm, I don't remember much granted that I lost many of my childhood memory. However, I do remember a river full of jellyfish.

Probably the idea of a creature made of gelatin-like consistency and equipped with microscopic poisonous snares that randomly floats about scares me. I mean, jelly is for eating and I like to keep it that way. Okay, jelly can also be  tossed at the idiot who started a food fight in the cafeteria, but I digress. If they aren't poisonous, I guess I wouldn't fear them as much because my logical side would come in and kick my silly emotional side's ass.

Perhaps the game X-COM 2: Terror from the Deep had something to do with it because I was terrified of the floating brain with a beak(Tentaculat) and the super huge jellyfish creature(Hallucinoid).

Anyway, to be honest, I generally fear creatures I cannot comprehend or control. I've been chased and bitten by dogs, scratched by cats, had a snake(Non-poisonous grass snake) slither into my shirt, bitten by a dumb hamster that couldn't differentiate my hand from a peanut, stung repeatedly by bees and have been bitten by a dragonfly(Yes, I've confirmed that dragonflies do bite under threat). However, I have not developed fear for them because I understand that none of that are actually fatal, unless the dogs/hamster/dragonfly developed rabies or I'm allergic to cat scratches and bee stings. Otherwise, I'm fucked.

There is also one other animal that I fear, but at the same time love. Want to know what is this special creature? No, not wolves. Not bears. Not tigers. Okay, you're all probably frustrated at guessing. So, presenting... Dum da da DUM!

Humans. I know many would be offended, which is why I put it down here. Many people would categorize themselves as something beyond animals, but really, we are just highly intelligent and complex animals with many contradicting qualities. So, drop those holier-than-thou attitude because you can't change reality, bub. On the other hand, I find this creature mighty attractive because I'm the same organism. :P

No matter how I might bash at humanity for its contradicting qualities, it doesn't compare to my fear of jellyfishes. The brainless semi-translucent blob with many poisonous tentacles. It has enough tentacles to make a hentai character cry! Okay, so they already cry like armageddon had fell upon them in those sick tentacle rape movies, but I'm trying to make a point!

"What is that? It looks disgusting!" Grandma commented on my slop of leftovers. I stared at my food and thought, "What?!"

When I asked, she said that my bowl of leftovers looked disgusting. Well, that is what you get when you randomly throw in edible leftovers into a pot and hope it tastes good. Whatever that comes out won't always look good, but usually it tastes good if you know how to cook it.

Which led me to think about something, I'm definitely not made for fine dining. Both in cooking and eating. If you would have me dress up in a tuxedo and go to high class restaurants to enjoy fine wine and some exotic dishes, I would most probably embarrass myself like a tragedy waiting to happen. Same goes for cooking, if you need me to dress up in a uniform and cook in a high-class restaurant, I would most probably end up in a stained uniform and a mediocre looking dish.

I suppose I'm not brought up to be refined, since I rarely enjoy expensive things like bird's nest, abalone, veal, capons, shark's fin and foie gras. Therefore, I suppose it is normal for someone like me to eat slop of leftovers. At least I know I won't die from starvation when fresh food becomes scarce.

I'm feeling better now and I don't have a stuffy nose anymore, but it seems like I still can't smell anything around me. EVEN cologne and insecticide. I hope it is temporary, because I don't want to live without having a sense of smell. Everything I eat is bland, and I can't tell how my cooking tastes like without my sense of smell.

So, now I'm a guy with 4 senses in all. Well, 5 if you call some of my accurate hunches as psychic.

It's Earth Day, and I forgot about it because I was too busy at work. I knew today is a special day but, damn! While I do try to do a lot of green things like recycling, cutting down my carbon footprint by walking and reducing electricity usage, care for plants, and all those overrated stuff. But I don't do them because it makes me feel like "Oh! I'm so great, I'm helping the environment!". I do them because I like it, unless fate becomes unreasonable.

However, being a greener guy(not out of jealousy) has its benefits, I save more on cash and I'm helping the environment. The down part is having to suffer a bit, but suffering is what I've gone through a lot so it doesn't bug me that much.

The main reason why I'm pissed is because Nat Geo is having an Earth Day special with really interesting documentaries. AND I MISSED THEM! GODDAMMIT!

Yeah, I was frustrated but I'm slightly happier because I worked up a sweat and I finally got a AA(No miss) rating on DDRMAX2 on a Level 3 song.

I guess this work-out is the most effective because I like dancing, just didn't know how.

Two of my latest artworks that I'm actually proud of, because I referred to nothing when I draw them. Sorry, still suck at drawing legs. That's why the rocker wasn't complete, but I absolutely love the way I drew the guitar.

Today, I went to the public library hoping I could find at least something about IELTS. To my dismay, no one knows what it is and let's just say after spending a hour looking around, I still see no signs of anything that gives  any information on IELTS.

Then I found some "Guide to University" books, and I took a few out. After reading them, the entry requirements seemed very low for everything and I was beginning to think, maybe I have a good chance after all.

When I was finished, it's written on the last page that it is printed in year 1988-1989... !@#^(&*%!!! What gives?! That's like 20 years ago! I was just a wee lad probably a few months old!

Then, after another hour of exasperated search, I decided to give up and called Terrance. I asked him about his MUET(The English test which I got a band 5 out of 6) book, and asked if I could borrow it for a while. I suppose something is better than nothing.

I'm seriously disappointed at the public library, put something up-to-date! Goddammit! Sheesh! It's almost like I'm walking into a museum.

I have this bad habit of sleeping with my head squashed below my pillow, just above my my nose so I could breathe. I don't know when I picked this up(probably from the time when I had to share my room with Bro #1 and Bro #2 many years ago, and now I'm back to sharing my room with them again.)

While it's nothing serious, because each of us have our sleeping habits. I mean, Bro #1 likes to snore and needs a bolster, Bro #2 have this habit of sleeping on his belly and having the blanket/duvet covering his head, and I take a long time to fall asleep and I squash my head below a pillow.

The problem I'm having right now is that I'm partially blind sometimes when I squash my head under the pillow, meaning I can't see clearly with or without my glasses. It's like I'm subconsciously performing corrective therapy while I sleep, and explaining why Sis couldn't get my power right the first time she attempted to try refraction on me(because I just woke up then).

Everything is blurry and I have to cook. Joy! Need to allow some time for the eyes to recover.

I'm planning to take IELTS within this month and I'm nervous as heck thinking about it (You can probably tell that I'm nervous from the weird and irrelevant title). The main reason would most probably be that my last English test was taken a year ago, and I'm afraid that I might not perform well.

The reason I'm nervous is because of two things:

1) I do not know much about IELTS's level of English, and I do not know what to expect. It feels like walking in a dark forest, not knowing what lies yonder. Let's just hope I don't fall victim to pit holes or ankle snares.

2) This is my one shot at getting a chance to study in the UK. No second chances, not safety nets. Just one single shot. If I miss, then it is over for me. I just hope Ash is right that my English is proficient enough. What worries me is the speaking and listening test. I'm not a smooth talker, I tend to space out, and I occasionally stutter like a recovering junkie.

May a higher power bless me.

On another note, I'm getting mysterious cuts. They are as thin and annoying as paper cuts, but they appear out of nowhere. I'll let you know if they start to appear as puncture holes on my palm, foot and heart. Heh, just kidding about the stigmata part.

IT IS RIDICULOUSLY HOT, AND I CAN FIND NO RELIEF!!! AAAAAAAAH!!!!

To think I used to be able to stay awake for 36 hours with no problem, now I can barely stay awake for 20 hours. Sometimes, not even 12!

To make the matters worse, I cannot sleep throughout the night anymore. I always wake up in between sleep. Damn, what is wrong with me?

Either I'm becoming old, or I'm becoming a wimp. XP

After an hour of fast-paced Dance Dance Revolution, all songs in my playlist seems to slowed down by a lot. It's like listening to everything in slow motion, heh. But, damn, I should've gotten DDR sooner. It is great fun, and good workout too!

Too bad I can't do it everyday, because I get more cramps that way.

Apparently, I'm not your average movie goer. I haven't watch any movies in months, and today I don't know what to say when my friends were talking about movies. We were hanging out, and talked about a few things. My friend, Gan, is moving because his father transferred to another province/state.

Anyhow, everything is a blur because I don't know what everyone is talking about. They were reenacting some movie scripts that they found funny, and I just forced out a laugh despite not knowing what the hell they are talking about.

I'm am soooooo out of it. XP

While reading about Pokemon Ranger Batonnage aka Pokemon Ranger 2, I suddenly had an urge to draw one of my favorite scenes in Corpse Bride, which is the ending where Victor sets Emily free. I drew out the scene from memory(because I rewatched the ending a lot of times), and it turned out okay, for someone who has no talent or conviction in art. I also removed all the raggedy clothes(which I originally placed in) because I wanted the picture to depict longing instead of abandonment.

I originally wanted to draw the butterfly scene, but the butterflies got me frustrated. There are too many! TOO MANY BUTTERFLIES!!! *snaps*

I'll upload the thing soon, and this is the FIRST time I ever drew a bride correctly. Maybe because Emily's dress was simple to patch up?

I realize I haven't open up the recipe request for a few days. Been busy, and I am considering whether to open a recipe blog. But anyhoo, here's some Chinese-y cooking(Forgive me, I'm not good at fancy names):

Menu:

1) Sweet & Sour Calamari: Type II
2) White Chop Chicken (Literal translation, and quite healthy)
3) Kongpou Cashew Chicken (Kongpou? Cooked with dried chillies)
4) Dark Chili Pork/Chicken (Recipe differ for meat source)
5) Bean Sauce Long Beans (Sounds silly, no?)

I just heard the opening number. It sounds annoyingly familiar! If you get what I mean.

It all happened in a dream, but it is weird.

I dreamed that Sis and I went to Korea for a trip(which is an odd choice by itself). I don't know where we were, but we talked about it being Korea. We roamed around looking for food because personally I'm picky when it comes to Korean food. Halfway during the search, Sis got a phone call from Ash and started getting lovey dovey on the phone. I moved out of ear's reach, because I didn't want to invade their privacy.

While waiting for Sis to finish her conversation, I noticed that we were at the harbor. As soon as she is done, we went on with our search.

Sis, took out a map and started reading it while I looked around. I always do that to make sure I know where I am, the reason why I don't get lost as easily as my elder siblings. Suddenly, I saw an albino bat with menacing fangs flipping about. I wanted to turn away, when it suddenly spotted me. So, it lunged at me, no big deal. Of course it is, what am I saying?!

I quickly grabbed Sis' arm and ran, she was screaming for an explanation and I said, "JUST RUN!". The bat caught up with us, and I felt it bite on my forehead.

It was licking my blood when I quickly grabbed the critter and flung it as far as my hands could throw. We stopped, when Sis checked on my forehead. "It's bleeding..." She said. I didn't answer, because it is obvious because I was bitten by a friggin' rat with wings.

"Maybe I should go get rabies shots!" I said finally. "The bat might be- WAIT A MINUTE! Since when does Korea have vampire bats?!"

Sis stared at me for a moment and let out a smirk which I know is bad news to me. She dragged me to a Korean BBQ shop and ordered everything with garlic in it. Then she told me to stay put and try not to drink anyone's blood. "Why would I drink blood?!" I said, still confused.

She went off and came back with stakes, crosses, crossbows and other medieval stuff that you see in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It seems like my own sister is about to go medieval on me. Getting the theme there and then, I said "I'm not becoming a vampire!".

She looked at me innocently and said "Better safe than sorry, I guess!". I beaded my eyes and looked away, I noticed that I can see the next door restaurant, which was Italian. Upon closer inspection, the tables were filled with dirty stuff like crumbs, rat droppings, droopy candles etc. There was even a corpse sitting on the one of the chairs. I winced at the unsightly view before me, when suddenly the corpse opened his eyes and saw me. He mouthed, "What are you looking at?!". I gasp out of shock, and this woke me up.

Sigh~ I spent weeks looking for a university that would take me in for Pharmacy. I've gotten rejected by a few because I do not meet the rather unfair requirements. My counselors always claimed that STPM is harder than A levels, then why does the requirement for A levels(3 C) is always lower than STPM(3 B+)? I should've taken A levels instead, I'm starting to regret my decision that I've taken STPM.

Should I call it a mere dream and call it quits or keep on chasing the unreachable and hang onto the sliver of hope that I might get it? Pharmacy isn't exactly ideal, but it is something I like. Looking for new medicine and finding new cures is something I hoped to do, since I've always had an interest in curing the sick. Though many would encourage me to do medicine, I refuse to take it on. The risk is too high and I'm not sure if I can live with myself if I failed those who needed me the most(the patients). I'm easily depressed, so I don't think that's a quality in a doctor.

It is frustrating me to the point of explosion, I just don't know what to do anymore. Here I am hoping to do something, and yet there is nothing I can really do. I can't find any universities that would accept me because I'm not qualified. I don't know anymore, what am I doing exactly?